Loving Your Neighbor: The Woman at the Well

Read: John 4:1-9

1. HISTORY – Where does the narrative take place and where was it written? What can you learn about their town and travel?

There was more than one route to get from Judea to Galilee. Although going through Samaria was the shortest route, it wasn’t common for Jews to travel through Samaria. Devout Jews wishing to avoid being defiled by the mixed race Samaritans, would take a less direct route, crossing the Jordan River and traveling to the East just to avoid Samaria! But Jesus chose to go directly through Samaria. Why? Was He in a hurry? Later we learn that Jesus stayed in Samaria for two more days (vs. 40), suggesting urgency was not the reason He chose to go through Samaria.

Quite a bit of detail on where this encounter took place is given in this rather short story, indicating it must be important. Let’s explore a few:

What is emphasized in John 4:4?  

What details are included in the text about the town of Sychar in John 4:5-6 (repeated in verse 12)?

Now jump ahead to John 4:20. Why was the nearby mountain significant to the Samaritans?

2. HISTORY – Who was it written about? How does the Bible describe them?

The Samaritans claimed Jacob as a Father to their nation. So did the Jews. Although the Samaritans and Jews shared some ancestry and religious practices (such as circumcision and the Sabbath), there was much they disagreed on, including where to worship. The well that Jesus came to in Sychar was within view of Mount Gerizim – a holy site to the Samaritans (vs 20). The Jews believed the Samaritans practiced a partially pagan religion and despised their place of worship. Meanwhile, the Samaritans rejected the Jerusalem temple and viewed the Levitical priesthood as illegitimate. Hostility toward one another went on for centuries. Clues from the text tell us this was no ordinary conversation.

What does John 4:9 reveal about the relationship between the Jews and the Samaritans?

How do Jesus’ disciples respond in John 4:27 when they discovered who Jesus was talking with? 

Historically, Jews didn’t talk to Samaritans, especially a Samaritan woman! And they avoided Samaria and despised their religious sites.

LOVING YOUR NEIGHBOR TIP

MEET THEM WHERE THEY ARE AT.

We see Jesus set aside religious, racial, gender, and cultural barriers to meet this woman where she was at, on her home field. And that’s exactly what we need to be ready to do in order to engage in a conversation and invest in relationships that may otherwise never take place or flourish. Use discernment and prayerfully be willing to go where your neighbor already is instead of waiting for them to come to you.

3. APPLY – Reflect: What specific questions do you have upon further reflection?

Why do we often avoid people who believe differently? How do Jesus’ actions challenge you to purposefully step into the path of people who are different from you?

Read: John 4:10-15

4. AUTHOR – Purpose: What was the author’s (or speaker’s) purpose and what insight does it provide into the passage?

What was Jesus’ purpose in this conversation? The woman’s response in verses 11-12 suggests she may have been put-off when He offered her “living water,” which she would’ve understood as fresh running spring water instead of stagnant well water. Was He saying His water was better than the water from her sacred well?

“You aren’t greater than our father Jacob, are you?” (vs. 12, CSB)

This right here could have side-tracked the entire conversation. This statement would have been an affront to Jews, who saw themselves as the true children of Jacob – not these mixed-race Samaritans with Gentile blood. But notice what Jesus did not do in His response.

In John 4:13-14, did Jesus correct the woman or argue with her over who could rightly claim Jacob as their father? Why do you suppose that is?

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LISTENING DOES NOT EQUAL AGREEMENT.

Jesus didn’t take the bait. He listened, but He didn’t correct her. That was not the point He wanted to make here. Listening to someone does not mean you agree with them. Be willing to accept someone’s point of view as their own by giving people space to process and share without constantly interrupting, fixing, or hijacking the conversation.

5. APPLY – Reflect: What specific questions do you have upon further reflection?

How might you have responded in this situation – when someone claims something that you are not only convinced isn’t true, but it may also offend you? Can you think of a time or reason when a correction or argument is not worth the fight? 

6. AUTHOR – Speech: What is being communicated through figurative language or symbolism?

Notice that living water had a dual meaning. The author, John, records Jesus doing this a lot – challenging the listener to understand spiritual truths by drawing from that which was familiar.

How did Jesus describe living water in John 4:13-14?  What does Jesus use living water to describe later in John 7:37-39? 

In John 4:15, did the woman interpret his description of living water figuratively or literally?

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FIND COMMON GROUND.

From the outside looking in, Jesus and the Samaritan woman had nothing in common. Finding ways to relate to some people can seem an impossible task, yet generally we can find some point of connection – even if it’s talking about water while standing next to a well. Jesus masterfully spoke to this woman’s physical need to highlight her spiritual need – a message she’d later be overjoyed to hear. Find ways to relate to your neighbor and focus on building a friendship first.

7. APPLY – Reflect: What specific questions do you have upon further reflection?

How might you be able to find common ground with someone you struggle having a conversation with? 

Read: John 4:15-18

8. RESEARCH – Observations & Questions: What stands out to you when you read the passage?

The woman couldn’t yet grasp what Jesus wanted her to understand about living water. But instead of doubling down on the point He was trying to make, Jesus listened. What reason did the woman give for wanting living water in John 4:15?

9. RESEARCH – Translations: Does another Bible translation add perspective or clarity on what the original language was trying to communicate?

The woman didn’t want to go to the well anymore. The text has already given us a clue as to why. Reread John 4:6 in a few Bible translations (if you’re reading from the KJV, NASB, or ESV, try reading it in the NIV, CSB, or NLT). What time of day was the woman at the well?

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LISTEN FOR WAYS TO TAKE THE CONVERSATION DEEPER.

Historically, women went to the well together in the cool of the morning. Yet this woman went in the heat of the day when no one else would be there. Where Jesus takes the conversation next may seem to come out of nowhere, but being a good listener and observer, Jesus went straight to the heart of the reason why she didn’t want to go to the well anymore.  Listen for what may be going on below the surface and ask how an experience has impacted a person, their relationships, or their faith.

10. APPLY – Reflect: What specific questions do you have upon further reflection?

Can you think of a person in your life who listens well? What do they do and how does this make you feel? 

11. HISTORY – Who was it written about? How does the Bible describe them?

The woman at the well was about to discover that this man knew her, truly knew her, and yet pursued her anyway. What do you learn about the woman in verses 17-18? 

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BUILD TRUST.

The woman at the well had likely been criticized by the people in her town for her lifestyle, yet she felt no shame or condemnation from Jesus. Instead she was offered a gift. It’s at this moment that Jesus built trust with the woman and she realized this was no ordinary man she met at the well. Authentic and vulnerable relationships cannot take place without trust first being established.

12. APPLY – Reflect: What specific questions do you have upon further reflection?

What do you see Jesus doing in these passages to build trust?

Read: John 4:19-26

The woman now assumed this man must be a prophet. But she made a few other assumptions too, continuing to focus on the differences between their people.

13. AUTHOR – Structure/Related Text: What is emphasized by Compare and Contrast?

What is emphasized by what the woman contrasts in John 4:20?

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GET TO KNOW AN INDIVIDUAL’S BELIEFS.

“Us Samaritans worship here”. “You Jews worship there.” The Samaritan woman assumed she knew what worship looked like for allJews, but if she only really knew who she was talking to! Avoid making generalizations such as “we believe” or “you believe” and instead say, “I believe” to allow each individual to share where they personally are at in their faith journey and to relieve any pressure to outwardly hold to a particular belief system or worldview.

14. APPLY – Reflect: What specific questions do you have upon further reflection?

When have you made assumptions about what someone believes? What could you do next time to get to know an individual’s beliefs before making any assumptions?

15. RESEARCH – Observations & Questions: What observations or questions do you have?

What stands out to you when you read Jesus’ response in John 4:21-24? Jesus points out that the physical location of where one worships should not be our main focus. It’s who we worship that matters. According to Jesus what should worship look like? 

16. HISTORY – What worldview, cultural, religious, political factors and experiences were a part of their world and how did that influence them?

A glaring difference between the Samaritans and the Jews was what they believed was scripture. The Samaritans only accepted the first five books of Moses (with a few modifications), and rejected the rest of the Jews’ scripture. As a result, the Samaritans were waiting for the Messiah (vs 25) and so were the Jews, but who they were looking for was likely not the same.  

How does Jesus acknowledge the differences in beliefs between the Samaritans and the Jews in verse 22? Why does Jesus say this is important (vs. 22-24)?

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ACKNOWLEDGE DIFFERENCES.

While there was overlap in some beliefs between the Samaritans and Jews, there were still some major differences that needed to be acknowledged – especially when it came to understanding Jesus. Many may say they believe in Jesus, but their understanding of who He is may vary greatly. In John 4, Jesus is pretty clear that their differences would have an eternal impact and He was willing to acknowledge those differences, after building trust with the woman.

17. APPLY – Ask: What do you learn about God – His character, attributes, or desires?

Jesus wants to be known. And He’s patient with this woman as her understanding of Him grows from a Jew (vs 9), to someone she could get something from (vs 15), to a prophet (vs 19), and ultimately to the Messiah (vs 29).

What can we learn about God from this passage, particularly verses 23-24?

True worshipers will worship God in Spirit, because God is Spirit (John 4:24) and in truth, because God is truth (John 14:6). The Father wants us to worship Him in truth – the truth about who He is – is important. Important enough that Jesus tells this woman where to find Him and how to know Him.

18. APPLY – Reflect: Why do you think it’s important to God that we worship Him in truth?

Read: John 4:27-30

Understanding the truth of who God is, means we can worship Him appropriately. Give Him the glory and praise He truly deserves. And we can learn more about who He is in the Bible!

Toward the end of their conversation, the Samaritan woman was able to understand the truth of who Jesus was, when she mentioned the Messiah would one day come and explain everything. It was in this moment that Jesus revealed for the first time that He was the Messiah!

“Then Jesus declared, ‘I, the one speaking to you–I am he.’” (vs 26, NIV)

19. RESEARCH – Observations & Questions: What observations or questions do you have?

Immediately after Jesus revealed Himself as the Messiah their conversation was interrupted when the disciples returned. What was the woman’s response to Jesus claiming to be the Messiah (vs 28-30)? What question did she ask everyone to consider?

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ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO ASK QUESTIONS.

On learning that Jesus was the Messiah, the woman left her water jar, went back into town to tell the town about Him and encouraged them to come see and ask for themselves if Jesus was the Messiah. Questions are good, especially questions that help us understand the truth about Jesus. The more questions you ask about Jesus and the message in the Bible, the more everyone around you can learn and grow in their relationship with Him.

20. APPLY – Reflect: What specific questions do you have upon further reflection?

What questions do you have about Jesus? What steps can you take today to seek answers to those questions?

Read: John 4:39-42

21. AUTHOR – Patterns: What is highlighted through the use of repetition and other patterns?

What is highlighted through the use of repetition in John 4:39-42? As the story wraps up we see the author, John, emphasize the real significance of Jesus’ unlikely encounter with this Samaritan woman. What is repeated three times in these four verses and how does that align with the author’s overall purpose found in John 20:30-31?

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FOCUS ON TRANSFORMING YOURSELF, NOT CHANGING OTHERS.

The woman shared with the townspeople about her interaction with Jesus. But she sent them directly to Jesus to learn for themselves. She realized that Jesus was the only thing that would change their hearts, not anything she could do. This is something we need when engaging with anyone around the Bible: remember that it’s God’s job to transform a person’s heart and mind, not yours.

22. APPLY – Reflect: What specific questions do you have upon further reflection?

How did the townspeople’s understanding of who Jesus is develop as they began to know Him (39-42)?

How has your belief in Jesus developed as you have gotten to know him?

In the midst of Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman at the well, Jesus tells His disciples, “Listen to what I’m telling you: Open your eyes and look at the fields, because they are ready for harvest” (John 4:35, CSB). Open your eyes. So simple, yet so profound. We can get so focused on our own lives and our own people that we stop looking at everyone else, others also created in God’s image. Jesus’ challenge to the disciples and through His interaction with the Samaritan woman is also a challenge for us – to love our neighbors, regardless of their background.

23. APPLY – Pray: “Lord, what do you want me to learn and how should I apply this to my life?”

What is your biggest takeaway from Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman at the well?